It's kind of like with people and the tarot cards

... just because you get the Death card doesn't mean death or dying


I had a really terrible nightmare last night, but the worst part is that it was one of those nightmares that are absolutely terrifying when you are having the actual dream, but when you wake up and try to tell people about it the dream sounds ridiculous.

Here goes:

Myself and eleven other people (from musical, I believe) were hanging out at my house and my parents were not home. Suddenly this guy with a tall hat comes in the room and we all run into the bedrooms on my sister and I's side of the house. Lauren and I go into the bathroom and lock the door. However, the lock is broken and he can easily get in. The other people did not know this and had already come to join us in the bathroom because it is the only door on that side of the house that can lock. The man comes into the bathroom and we all spread out with our backs along the walls. I grab the "safest" spot in the room, behind the door when it is open. Lame hiding spot since obviously he knows we're all in this tiny room, but it was the best I could do. Anyway, he proceeds to threaten us with injection needles that supposedly contain enough insulin to kill us. He stabs a few of my friends in the thigh with the needles, I remember specifically that AK and Billy got stabbed. Eventually everyone got stabbed, but I really don't know who all made up the 12 except for I know that it was at least me, Jazzy, Lauren, Anna, AK, Billy, Josh, and Jordan. Maybe Taylor Dukes was there? Which is strange because I don't even know her ... anyway, Jazzy, Lauren and I are the only ones who manage to not get stabbed so we all wrestle the guy to the floor and take his needles and he leaves. We feel pretty good about ourselves, like we're heroes, until we see all of the bodies of our friends rigidly leaned against the bathroom walls with their eyes especially wide and their mouths gaping open. They look almost doll-like. I start to panic. The three of us pick up AK and Billy and put them on my dining room table, for they are completely stiff as a board. I looked at AK's face and I just freaked out. I was so glad to have survived but I was so heartbroken that so many of my friends were dead. Then I see Jordan lounging on my couch (I thought he was dead!) and I go up to him to freak out. "I thought we had saved them, but everyone is dead! I didn't think he killed them, I thought they were just unconscious! I wish this wasn't real. I wish I were dreaming or something." Jordan could care less; he's as cool as a cucumber. "How do you know you aren't dreaming? This is a dream, you just didn't know it." ... I don't believe him. "What?? No. See, I'll pinch myself!" and I did. "Not a dream! If it were, then AK and Billy wouldn't really be dead!" and then right after, AK and Billy start to stir and wake up while my parents are coming in. My parents chased the needle man off and all is safe, plus all of my friends are not dead. I was very bewildered, but then I woke up.

However, all day today I could not get the image of AK's rigid doll-like corpse and wide eyes out of my head. It's haunting.

I told all my friends about my dream and it just made for a funny conversation, but I felt so terrifed when it was actually happening.

I wonder ... did I achieve some sort of lucidity when I was talking with Jordan? Am I getting closer to lucid dreaming? Also, I wonder what this dream meant. I think the fact that the needles were filled with insulin mattered because before I had fallen asleep I was worried about my eating habits and how I did not want to get cancer or diabetes when I was older because of all the carbs and sugar I eat. I wonder why Lauren and Jazzy were the ones who survived as well as me, and I wonder why Billy and AK were the ones I remember most vividly being killed. Why was it so important that there were 12 of us? Why can I not get that image of AK out of my head?

Recounting the whole thing just creeps me out again.