Some impressions stay and some will fade

The problem with blogging is that anyone can read it, ya know? I don't have a problem with million of anonymous internet users outside of my monkeysphere reading anything and everything I write. I think that's actually sort of nifty. It's just the idea of people I know from school but aren't particularly close with, or relatives that don't really know me ... things like that. It's not as if I have terribly raunchy or cruel things to say, its just some of it could seem over sentimental or just obsessive or something. I don't know. There's just potential for embarrassment.

Anyhow, unrelated shift of topic ...

New York = amazing.

^ The view from our hotel. See the crowd of people?
That was the beginning of the epic line for Top Model Auditions!

I had so much fun. I'd been once before but you can go to NYC a million times and still have never done anything twice. We did all the tourist-y things one feels obligated to do when visiting the city, but I think the most fun I had was hanging out with my friends.

When I wanted to shop or feed off the exuberant energy only emitted by a gay man at a Broadway musical, I'd hang out with the theatre girls and Juan. However, when I just wanted to sort of not be right in the middle of the "giggle-shriek-take-a-million-pictures-LYKEOMG!" of it all ... I hung out with Garrett, Sam, Jordan and Michael. Which I thought may have turned out a little weird because I didn't want to impede on their "man time" or whatever ... and also because of those 4 Michael is really the only one that I'm close friends with or even really friends with at all before this year. (Another topic to also be discussed later!) Anyhow, I had a lot of fun with aforementioned boys. Won't go into detail. Most of it wouldn't be exciting to blog about anyway, but oh the times that WERE exciting ... well, that's another story entirely. haha!

But strangely enough, the best part of hanging around four guys for four days straight practically was just talking with them. They are all pretty nifty and unique people, and since I'm highly fascinated by the capricious nature of the male psyche anyway, it was a interesting experience. I feel like I got to know Sam, Garrett and Jordan better and what I learned surprised me. They are cool people.

^ Nice dinner at Carmine's (yum) L to R, Garrett (not looking at camera) Jordan (looking blank) Michael (looking bored) Kayla (looking plastic-y?) and Sam (looking surprised). Yeah ... we're way cool.

I think people tend to always surprise us, after we get to know them. I think often people's first impressions are necessarily the impressions they made on us as much as the impressions we assigned to them upon meeting them.



In other news ... I came home to find my purple walls painted and all of my stuff moved out of my room, except for my closet. My bathroom also got cleared out, which although is slightly inconvenient was actually was awesome because that means I'll never have to clean it again. Ever. Score. So ... now I'm sleeping on the couch or sometimes the floor and I sort of just pile all my junk on my New York suitcases in the living room. It's okay, though. I'm not a big material item person. I really just need my computer for music and facebook (I hate that I'm addicted), my journal, and just like ... deodorant and contact solution and necessities like that. But the good thing about all of this is that this means we are actually in the process of getting our house ready to sell, which is totally fine with me. That just means I'm getting closer to moving to Austin!

wow.

I still have so much to write about. But really, if I wrote anymore tonight I'd be kidding myself that someone would actually read the whole thing. I wonder if people actually do read this ... I sort of want to pull a "Me & You & Everyone We Know" and be like ...

"If you actually read my blog, leave a comment that says MACARONI!"

Post title from "This is Not Your Year" by The Weepies

Turn around, turn the volume down, we're counting the days down!

I won my first scholarship (not counting the stuff from National Merit and UT) ... Remember that interview I wrote about?

Woo! $1500 from Impossible Possibilities!


Today was a long day. Good though. More details later. I'm going to go eat a (super yummy Market Street) salad. It's 8 pm and all I've put in my mouth today was a Chai Latte, I'm staaaaarving!

Post title from "Video" by Ben Folds Five

Some are seeking and searching like me, moi

I've been reading "The Secret" lately. I like what it has to say about how each of us is responsible for creating our own lives and everyone can indeed have EVERYTHING they want. We don't need to feel guilty or as though there is a limited amount of happiness. Perfect lives are a limitless supply and all we have to do is be creative and positive to make them a reality. It's all about being grateful, and living as though you already possess the life you want.

I find that this philosophy goes fittingly with my favorite quote and personal mantra:

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

It's discouraging sometimes though because when you adopt some new way of thinking like this, you anxiously anticipate the positive results and become discouraged when you don't get instant gratification. But, I'd be lying if I didn't say I've gotten some pretty good results already. (Maybe not EVERYTHING I wanted, but that probably requires more patience.)

Read "The Secret". I don't intend to throw away all my beliefs because of one book phenomenon, but it was definitley something that made me think and has had a positive influence on my life. I had no idea how often I dwelled on negative emotions and obsessed about everything I DIDN'T want in life until I read it.

Post title from "Dirty Harry" by Gorillaz

Here They Sang About Tomorrow

I am going to try to become more organized and diligent about updating this thing. I know, I know, that's what EVERY pseudo-blogger claims but honestly I want to be better with this thing. That being said, I am going to make some improvements:

1. Utilize paragraph breaks more effectively so people actually WANT to read what I'm writing instead of being discouraged by giant, long blocks of text.
   
2. Put what song the lyrics that I use for the title are from. That way you get a little taste of my iTunes library. (I'm warning you, I listen to some LAME music!)
3. Don't self-edit and censor so much. Don't worry about anyone reading it or liking it, etc. Just ... write. At the least, I'll have the posts to look back on in nostalgia.

---

Today I had an interview for the Impossible Possibilities scholarship. It was sort of a nice Sunday jaunt to downtown Fort Worth, which is a lovely place even if your just walking through. The interview was in the very classy Worthington building with these two brothers who starting the organization. It was a little nerve-wracking because I didn't have really great answers to some of the things they asked. I feel guilty for never having had a real "childhood crisis" or "tragic obstacle" to have overcome. Boring, suburban middle-class life does not make for a good scholarship interview! I jest, of course. However, I really felt great about talking to Mr. and Mr. Hernandez because they had so many AMAZING things to stay about Austin.

"Austin is the best melting pot of creative and talented people in the whole country!"

"It's the kind of place that whenever you visit, you just want to set your bags down and never leave."

And these men didn't even go to school there are grow up there! They're unbaised! So, yes, I am very excited to go to Austin. Also, although I was the one being interviewed, the brothers had great things to say about pursuing your dreams despite the skepticism of others (He didn't think acting was a superficial profession!) , how passion is the key to standing out and creating your own success, and how the people you surround yourself with are vital in creating the best environment to thrive in.

So do I think I got the scholarship? I really don't know. It was my first interview and I could have performed better. However, I am immensely grateful for the experience I had this afternoon and how just 30 minutes with those men had an amazing impact on me. I am even more excited for university now!

In other news ...

• AP Mock Economics Exam is coming up. I plan on skipping it and getting my hair cut instead.
• I've started watching "Sex and the City" from the beginning of the series.
• Brooke and I are trying to exercise and eat healthy!
• I miss my sister.
• I have a great coffee shop story to tell! (Perhaps in the next entry)
• I'm learning to play the piano!
• Expect poetry posted on here soon.
• 12 DAYS UNTIL NEW YORK CITY!

Post title : "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables