Wow -- Recently I have felt a surge of motivation and ambition and it's just really great. I have re-discovered why I love theatre and acting so much. This act-wright workshop has been really amazing and has been a perfect spark to reignite my fire! Woooo! I haaaaave to act. Seriously, it's the only thing I'm halfway decent at that I actually like. I mean, I'm good at a lot of things, but they are all either 1) academic and boring and not at all fitting with my craving for EXCITEMENT 2) lots of fun but mostly pointless or one dimensional (thrift town shopping and cupcake baking lol) Anyhoo -- to be the Indie Movie Princess would be beautiful but I know that those odds are difficult and if I could just get steady work in little films and theatre projects I would be content. Even if I can't make enough money through acting, I could be resourceful enough to do other jobs AND I still want to learn everything I can about film so I can make movies myself as well! I could get a break like Zach Braff by writing myself a part! Right? It's very possible. I just need to get a hold of my bootstraps, reel in my ambition and PUT IT TO WORK. Stop being afraid of words on paper and write, and design, and imagine, and RISK. RISK EVERYTHING. YESSSSSSSS.
I've also been thinking a lot about the negative realization that I'm probably socially retarded and most people probably find me annoying. My sister and best friend say I am, but they still love me ... but I realize I just probably am one of those awkward social skill lacking people who bug others or other people feel bad for. ......Welp. Nothing I can do about it, right? I'm too hyped up on this new ambition wave to really think about it.
I've been watching the Olympics and hearing a lot about annoying Disney child stars lately and I'm just so overwhelmed by it all. I'm getting to the age where the young, successful people are younger than I am -- and I, in turn, feel very inadequate. I want to be immortal! I want to leave a kick ass legacy and have the most fun along the way! I really really do and I sometimes think that it seems too impossible and there's no way I'll ever be able to accomplish it. I don't look right, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not unique enough, I'm not rich enough, WHATEVER. I know I'm certainly dedicated enough and I'm certainly passionate enough.
That's got to be enough, right?
And I realize it doesn't fit and I do know enough about html to make it fit, but I'm lazy and I don't want to.
1 comment:
I was just taking a break from my online travelers tale-in-progress and I decided to take a break and see what else is going on around Blogger. I was drawn to your page by the layout. It definitely gave me some good ideas I plan to use. Then I started reading and saw that aren't afraid to just let your thoughts flow, and I also noticed that you are a Ben Folds fan.
I just wrote a piece about Ben with live video footage. It's called "Bogan Wonderland." Check it out on my page. I think you, like me, will be surprised my some of our retardedly similar takes on things.
Matt
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